We all focus on priorities, we all orient our minds towards immediate goals and objectives. From time to time, when we get overwhelmed in these pursuits, we'll escape to an other world, a world that transcends the common thoughts of man. A world where we find comfort in our insecurities that everyone is insecure ~ life perhaps, or even so broad a topic as the creation, design, and existence of the universe. We find comfort because in our moments of desperation, we realize that our value we place in our lives and in our goals and potential failures are -- at least in a philosophical sense ~ obsolete. Imagine if Earth was all that was, if there were no outside space or vast void. If everything truly was ALL or NOTHING. Would the world be any different than what it is today? Would civilizations have acted differently? Assuming nature was constant all the way up until the neolithic revolution. (Ok assume something like the sun existed and the moon controlling the tides but without occupying space ... I know I know... technicalities.)
This is a question I quite literally formulated three seconds ago while I was writing this blog. Comment on what you think.
Friday, October 12, 2007
Monday, October 8, 2007
Saturday, October 6, 2007
On Human Sexuality.
It fascinates me that there is actually a reputable position of "human sexuality researcher" out there. "So son, what're you going to do with that college degree?" "I'm g'unna be a sexuality researcher!" pleasant little jingle, and I'm sure it complies with their inert childhood dreams indeed. Seriously though, how would one go about such a task as researching such a broad and diverse field as sexuality? Seemingly any anecdotal case study or small group would lead to erroneous results due to the "failure of composition" clause and I very much doubt willing and respectable participants would come flocking to an ad depicting "Sexual experiment being conducted ~ need >1,000 people" Well, I mean rest assured people would come - they just not be your average white picket fence guys from the Enzyte commercials.
However, with a little skepticism and scrutiny one can reasonably define sexuality as what it is and how it's not something that's malleable. Since the popular culture began picking up the topic of homosexuality psychologists, priests, and even your friendly neighborhood spiderman began theorizing as to the roots of human sexuality. However, none of these people are the right people to correctly define it. For sexuality exists without human social psychology in a myriad of other creatures and beyond the going-on's of behind the alter. It has existed far before priests have even been around to declare it a sin. Indeed, it is a scientist who must study it, for sexuality is a physical thing controlled by physical law. Think about it, sexuality has existed for many a millennium in lesser things without the capability for psychological evaluation. It's the most significant thing to the survival of our species and our whole complex ~ our whole bodily systems have been geared towards keeping us alive, why would mother nature not decide to stain in her hands in the naughty business?
Not even going into the scientific studies showing a correlation of one twin being homosexual increasing the chance of the other one being as well nor offspring with uncles or aunts who're homosexual possessing a higher chance of becoming gay or lesbian, let's delve into the logical argument of malleability. Don't you think with the horrible treatment homosexuals receive that if they could "shift" their sexuality to a more culturally accepted gender attraction they'd have done so? Indeed, many have tried. Psychologists ~ well, psychologists who aren't the equivalent of voo-doo doctors have almost universally reported failures of converting homosexuals in short-term and long-term case studies. I challenge a reader out there to find a case of a genuine homosexual being "converted" This is because what we find sexually attractive is hard-lined into our brain. That we can't just look at any old person and consciously decide "ooo-la-la" because if that were the cause, many freakish mates would have occured, men would have mated with women who weren't conducive to survival and vice versa. Nature took over this part of our brains so as to make sure we don't fuck it up. Pun intended. This is why certain physical structures of another produce "turn-ons" such as being thin and well endowed (if you know what I mean) In this way it's no more useful to say that a person can change their sexuality than to say they can change their skin color. Perhaps over a course of thousands of years selective adaptation can occur to alter our taste in physical traits, but over the course of one lifetime it's not possible because the physical inclinations have already been given to us.
Things like bisexuality do exist, but this doesn't contradict the scientific argument. You'll find many animals who're bisexual, and all it is, is just a denomination of sexuality given two interests at birth rather than one.
For me, I could never be "sexually" attracted to another male. I've tried, it's just *not* possible. Even trying to think of them as female my body recognizes the fake out and doesn't lend me any ecstasy. From a socioological perspective this is confusing, because males are less confusing and let's face it... more active and hence fun than females... but it's not society that dictates my sexuality ~ it's nature. Thus it follows that when I see an attractive female, a hormonal concoction of fire and energy engulfs my being that I'm no more in control of than my serotonin levels. Due to this, i've developed a lust for all things female. Their comforting nature, sympathetic demeanors, and childlike innocence... I would much rather spend time with a female than a male.
The same I'm sure is true for the readers out there. Ever since you thought about this stuff, you've fantasized about one gender (or two if bisexual) you receive the hormonal ecstasy when you're around that one gender... the nervousness...excitatory response..I challenge you to try and mimic that feeling with whatever the "neglected" gender is...
I'm off to a case study..
However, with a little skepticism and scrutiny one can reasonably define sexuality as what it is and how it's not something that's malleable. Since the popular culture began picking up the topic of homosexuality psychologists, priests, and even your friendly neighborhood spiderman began theorizing as to the roots of human sexuality. However, none of these people are the right people to correctly define it. For sexuality exists without human social psychology in a myriad of other creatures and beyond the going-on's of behind the alter. It has existed far before priests have even been around to declare it a sin. Indeed, it is a scientist who must study it, for sexuality is a physical thing controlled by physical law. Think about it, sexuality has existed for many a millennium in lesser things without the capability for psychological evaluation. It's the most significant thing to the survival of our species and our whole complex ~ our whole bodily systems have been geared towards keeping us alive, why would mother nature not decide to stain in her hands in the naughty business?
Not even going into the scientific studies showing a correlation of one twin being homosexual increasing the chance of the other one being as well nor offspring with uncles or aunts who're homosexual possessing a higher chance of becoming gay or lesbian, let's delve into the logical argument of malleability. Don't you think with the horrible treatment homosexuals receive that if they could "shift" their sexuality to a more culturally accepted gender attraction they'd have done so? Indeed, many have tried. Psychologists ~ well, psychologists who aren't the equivalent of voo-doo doctors have almost universally reported failures of converting homosexuals in short-term and long-term case studies. I challenge a reader out there to find a case of a genuine homosexual being "converted" This is because what we find sexually attractive is hard-lined into our brain. That we can't just look at any old person and consciously decide "ooo-la-la" because if that were the cause, many freakish mates would have occured, men would have mated with women who weren't conducive to survival and vice versa. Nature took over this part of our brains so as to make sure we don't fuck it up. Pun intended. This is why certain physical structures of another produce "turn-ons" such as being thin and well endowed (if you know what I mean) In this way it's no more useful to say that a person can change their sexuality than to say they can change their skin color. Perhaps over a course of thousands of years selective adaptation can occur to alter our taste in physical traits, but over the course of one lifetime it's not possible because the physical inclinations have already been given to us.
Things like bisexuality do exist, but this doesn't contradict the scientific argument. You'll find many animals who're bisexual, and all it is, is just a denomination of sexuality given two interests at birth rather than one.
For me, I could never be "sexually" attracted to another male. I've tried, it's just *not* possible. Even trying to think of them as female my body recognizes the fake out and doesn't lend me any ecstasy. From a socioological perspective this is confusing, because males are less confusing and let's face it... more active and hence fun than females... but it's not society that dictates my sexuality ~ it's nature. Thus it follows that when I see an attractive female, a hormonal concoction of fire and energy engulfs my being that I'm no more in control of than my serotonin levels. Due to this, i've developed a lust for all things female. Their comforting nature, sympathetic demeanors, and childlike innocence... I would much rather spend time with a female than a male.
The same I'm sure is true for the readers out there. Ever since you thought about this stuff, you've fantasized about one gender (or two if bisexual) you receive the hormonal ecstasy when you're around that one gender... the nervousness...excitatory response..I challenge you to try and mimic that feeling with whatever the "neglected" gender is...
I'm off to a case study..
Wednesday, October 3, 2007
Grade report and the rest of the story.
Ok, in an effort to capitalize on a recent bout of success and fortify my ego I'm going to imprint permanently my grades thusfar as of 10/3/07 and know henceforth that in this moment of time atleast... everything was swell. (I suspect I'll reread this blog after finals in which case I'll have been thoroughly pwn'ed and depressed that hopefully the inspiring thought of "oh ya.. back then I could have been something...something uplifts me somewhat"
Economics Mid-Term-96%
As proud as I should be of getting such a grade, I am not. The test itself was ridiculusly easy and what's more, there were 5 Count them 5 bonus questions for a total of 10 extra credit points!! That's absurd! 10 extra points on a test that counts 35% of my grade? Jeez, I significantly doubt that's college material. How many readers in college out there get such a spot? Eh... it's like I could have missed 1/5 of the questions and still gotten an "A"
Chemistry Mid-Term-92%
I think she gave us the wrong test. That somehow the real chemistry test wound up at her secret alter-ego professor of special ed class and we got chemistry for retards. Seriously, I finished the test in 7 minutes...and the only questions I missed were due to careless errors... and I forgot that Fluorine exists as a diatomic particle.. boo hoo..
Writing Class - 9/10
I'm fairly disappointed in this one, it's like I've lost my knack for writing. It takes me soooo long to write even pitiful uninspiring sentences, it's like my once routine trains of thought are stalled out on the track. I once was able to crap out the shit like a bulimic on laxatives, but alas woe is me. Hehe, actually I'm starting to regain my interests which is a delightful thing.
Latin - 105%
Latin is my bitch. (I scored a 100 + 5 bonus points)
or
Latinum beechum muum est.
Texas Politics - Haven't taken it yet.
Yesterday I talked to Gorge (pronounced whore-hey -- but you can call him whore. - I do) Escalante about all sorts of world events and philosophical topics - which certainly broke the mundanity of uninteresting topics like our neighbor girls or Tehran. We discussed North Korea and impending doom, the injustice and maladies of that land. Coupled with China, with N.Koreans flooding the border causing further strain on an already strained Chinese economy. Then we discussed communism and subsequently Fidel Castro, I started making bets with him as to when the old loaf was going to keel. It's like the Leaning Tower of Pisa, you know it's going to fall it just might take a few centuries. He bet he'd live another 2 years I said by this time 2008 Hillary Clinton will be attending his funeral.
Suffice to say a year from now I'm going to be three sweet tart candies-the-richer.
------------
I'm growing further concerned over a friend of mine whose state is anything but stable. It's sick. How many guys swarm her and ask her to go to "clubs" with them, they don't care at all about her welfare or health they just care that she looks pretty and is fun to get high with. It's disgusting. That i'm in a situation utterly without power because she's addicted. Addicted to the club life of hard drugs and reckless parties. I know this because she tells me, and all the while I'm listening I just want to reach out my arms and hold her. Hold her from the weight of the world, hide the cold darkness of its all-consuming nature and shelter her from all evil. Not as a loving embrace, but as a hero's one. I want to be her hero. I want to be the guy who is the anchor of logic for her in a sea of insanity. I know I would be the first and only, and my desire to be such stems from the severity of the situation - she *is* dying. I would never allow such an occurence if it is in my will to challenge it, for I could never look myself in the mirror if someone died that I could have saved. When I look at her now, I see the same as one would see another in peril - needing to be rescued. Though I have the advantage of having time to plan my actions which couldn't be said of someone acting in a perilious situation as say - trying to save someone drowning in a river. Though the forces of river - metaphorically speaking are all to equivalent. The other guys who're attractive, lure her to go with them.. the drugs, physiologically control her.. her own mental status - neurotic to lend her little resistence to anything. I already now my first course of action... the plan will be set in motion fairly soon.
*sigh*
On an unrelated matter.
I want someone to love. Someone out there... to hold me.
Economics Mid-Term-96%
As proud as I should be of getting such a grade, I am not. The test itself was ridiculusly easy and what's more, there were 5 Count them 5 bonus questions for a total of 10 extra credit points!! That's absurd! 10 extra points on a test that counts 35% of my grade? Jeez, I significantly doubt that's college material. How many readers in college out there get such a spot? Eh... it's like I could have missed 1/5 of the questions and still gotten an "A"
Chemistry Mid-Term-92%
I think she gave us the wrong test. That somehow the real chemistry test wound up at her secret alter-ego professor of special ed class and we got chemistry for retards. Seriously, I finished the test in 7 minutes...and the only questions I missed were due to careless errors... and I forgot that Fluorine exists as a diatomic particle.. boo hoo..
Writing Class - 9/10
I'm fairly disappointed in this one, it's like I've lost my knack for writing. It takes me soooo long to write even pitiful uninspiring sentences, it's like my once routine trains of thought are stalled out on the track. I once was able to crap out the shit like a bulimic on laxatives, but alas woe is me. Hehe, actually I'm starting to regain my interests which is a delightful thing.
Latin - 105%
Latin is my bitch. (I scored a 100 + 5 bonus points)
or
Latinum beechum muum est.
Texas Politics - Haven't taken it yet.
Yesterday I talked to Gorge (pronounced whore-hey -- but you can call him whore. - I do) Escalante about all sorts of world events and philosophical topics - which certainly broke the mundanity of uninteresting topics like our neighbor girls or Tehran. We discussed North Korea and impending doom, the injustice and maladies of that land. Coupled with China, with N.Koreans flooding the border causing further strain on an already strained Chinese economy. Then we discussed communism and subsequently Fidel Castro, I started making bets with him as to when the old loaf was going to keel. It's like the Leaning Tower of Pisa, you know it's going to fall it just might take a few centuries. He bet he'd live another 2 years I said by this time 2008 Hillary Clinton will be attending his funeral.
Suffice to say a year from now I'm going to be three sweet tart candies-the-richer.
------------
I'm growing further concerned over a friend of mine whose state is anything but stable. It's sick. How many guys swarm her and ask her to go to "clubs" with them, they don't care at all about her welfare or health they just care that she looks pretty and is fun to get high with. It's disgusting. That i'm in a situation utterly without power because she's addicted. Addicted to the club life of hard drugs and reckless parties. I know this because she tells me, and all the while I'm listening I just want to reach out my arms and hold her. Hold her from the weight of the world, hide the cold darkness of its all-consuming nature and shelter her from all evil. Not as a loving embrace, but as a hero's one. I want to be her hero. I want to be the guy who is the anchor of logic for her in a sea of insanity. I know I would be the first and only, and my desire to be such stems from the severity of the situation - she *is* dying. I would never allow such an occurence if it is in my will to challenge it, for I could never look myself in the mirror if someone died that I could have saved. When I look at her now, I see the same as one would see another in peril - needing to be rescued. Though I have the advantage of having time to plan my actions which couldn't be said of someone acting in a perilious situation as say - trying to save someone drowning in a river. Though the forces of river - metaphorically speaking are all to equivalent. The other guys who're attractive, lure her to go with them.. the drugs, physiologically control her.. her own mental status - neurotic to lend her little resistence to anything. I already now my first course of action... the plan will be set in motion fairly soon.
*sigh*
On an unrelated matter.
I want someone to love. Someone out there... to hold me.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)