A new mathematics is in order.

Random update II of XI State of affairs with my friends.

Ok this entry is more for me than anyone else reading and I'm going to phrase it as such. So you basically you can spare yourself reading this entry as it really has no significant meaning. Unless you want to psychoanalyze me or something.

When I went to college it was sort of like boarding a boat and casting off into the great unknown, completely clueless as to whether or not I'd find sunshine or if I'd find Poseidon's thirty foot long pitchfork clashing through me in a harrowing blow of p'wnage. My friends decided to stay on the shore where it was relatively safe but relatively demeaning. As such a divide of jealously, misunderstanding, and genuine difference has arisen between us. The immature jokes and reckless actions they involved themselves into have lost their appeal to me, and likewise the casual social interaction and relative insight has offered them no enticement.

I swore to myself now that I'd never complain again about anything. I've come to realize that complaining is a weak exercise, an expression for another's compassion. One should neither want nor need another's willing grace, for then they become reliant. The stiffening of will and ultimately one's seclusion from the rest of the world is the optimal course of maintaining one's independence. I've found that over the past few years I've allowed myself to open up about things I never should have, I've burdened others with the pains that no man woman or child should have to face in their life. I allowed myself to become weak and meager. A begger of sorts for attention and sustenance. If I am to be successful in my dream, a reclamation is in order of my earlier pride and for that I wish it necessary to forsake all ties with other people less the loves of my life.

As of my friends the group will not last much longer. I've grown apart from them too much and the memories are no longer pleasant. It's essentially degraded to a posse of poop flinging monkies in any event. I don't understand how such bitter hatred can develop from what was such a great and fun friendship.

Actually I take that back. The bitter sows of jealousy and primitive psychology have led us to contest our egos and we all share this vision that we're greater than another and for that the relationship can only last if someone takes the submissive role in a cast of dominators - a spot which shall not be occupied.

I shall welcome new friends of course, but only in the light that I'm helping them with their problems and situations, I care not for another's advice on my life anymore. A beautiful thing it is to help someone overcome a situation they need help with, which may sound all the more hypocritical of me to condemn previous actions but I condemn only on said actions of my part. Other people, who can at times be so innocent. Can be so beautiful. Even flowers need nectoring.

Random update I of XI

For this first random update I'm just going to say a bunch of controversial words and let you react to them.

-Homosexuality

-Klu Klux Klan

-President Bush

-Kim Jung Ill

-Iraq war

-Republicans

-Death Penalty

-Scooter Libby

-Nazis

-Auschwitz

-Israel

-Nuclear missiles

-$4.00 a gallon gasoline

-Oil companies

-Rich people

-Torture

-Rape

-Mao Zedong

-Communism

-America

-Conservatives

-Beheadings

-Oprah Winfrey's face.