Guys are sensitive creatures, really truly gals. It's just we're secretive about it, only when we know our masculinity isn't threatened do we let loose. It sort of amazes me the conversations I have with my room mates about how we look, how we're feeling, if we're feeling fat, the emotions we feel around such and such girl. Of course such convo's take place only when we're the only ones in our rooms and there's no chance of eavesdroppers. Man, if only girls really knew our true secrets, they wouldn't be so offended by us or alienated I guess. Jorge went on about his fantasy of sitting in a field with the one he loves looking at the stars.. haha what a fag. No no, I have no room to talk, I went on about cuddling and its greatest asset to a relationship. Any relationship. We had one big hug fest, us guys.
My chemistry lab has exceeded my expectations. The professor is actually sort of timid, but she has her T.A. actually do the lab instruction and oversight, my lab partner and I are pretty well acquianted with each other, and despite the lab being scheduled from 6 pm - 11 pm we usually get done around 10 pm. One thing though, in that lab I swear there's this one person who keep staring at me. It makes me so self-conscious I mean what the heck? Why do people have to stare at me?? Why can't they look somewhere else, it's like everytime I look at them they're looking at me and it just sends me into a paranoic frenzy as to whether or not they're psychopaths plotting my doom or fashion police critiquing my teen bopper clothes. Either way it doesn't come out to anything good on my end.
I've been rushing around doing this this and this, but I've applied for merit scholarships and I'm hoping to get this one 500 dollar university grant for high end achievers. 500 dollars might not be all the much, but it does at least pay for books.
Hmmm what else, what else? These blogs dn't seem the same without mindless rants of mine, but I think I'll spare myself that in this entry.
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
Friday, January 11, 2008
I know what I'm fighting for.
It was one of those rare moments in time that I'll never forget. It shot forth from the video straight through my eyes and nestled alongside the synapse in perfect unison so as to never be parted by any physical force. Though at the time I did not quite know what I possessed, later in I would figure it out, like the man who navigates the maze and finds the end. Of things of beauty this is not. It was one of those old newsreels in such grainy black and white as to mock all color in the world, and in things so depressing this format was most fitting. It was a British soldier alone in front of the camera, in front of Bergen Belsen concentration camp and after a heartfelt speech in which he rambled on with such clear emotions of hatred and fatigue, shock and awe utterly does not canvass appropriately. He stood brave with his chest out almost mocking the sheer evil that had horrifying worked its will. It was obvious that he was no longer afraid of death or lies or nazi's. He knew the truth, and in things so honorable and so astute, he ardently proclaimed at the end, "I know now what I am fighting for."
It seems the world has changed since then, color has come to us. Things don't seem as black and white anymore. With time we've seen ourselves grow and prosper into an affluence never before experienced by mankind, but with out growth has come new challenges and the history of America in the recent period is not free from being marred. Our foreign policy has went from bad to atrocious, it lacks even mere common sense any more. It has unified the enemies - so longstanding - against us, and with reason this time. The woes, so longstanding seem to be culminating now into a fiery ball. America's days are numbered if we continue down this reckless path. The color is degenerating into primitive black, and primitive white.
The Iraq war, started on misinformation and never reconciled after learning about this misinformation, leads one to the conclusion that it was always well known that Saddam didn't possess any nuclear weapons before we went to war. Bush lied to the congress, and when the answers came he failed to take the blame - shifting it to the C.I.A. We've overthrown an atrocious dictator ~ but at the cost of billions of dollars.. and the loss of respect from the international community.. Meanwhile out interventionist policy has only emboldened terrorists who now reside in Pakistan, where we gave the dictator who over threw and elected government - 11 billion dollars, for what? We sent Bhutto in to withdraw on our mistake.. and she ends up getting killed. We installed the shah in Iran, and no kidding when our hostages got taken Jimmy Carter authorized Iraq to go to war with Iran.. no wonder Iran is pissed at us. We need to change our foreign policies. We are fighting with extreme retardedness.
The liberals, from within have been ruining our country economically, the "conservatives" have been ruining our country internationally. It's a pick your posion type of deal. All I hear from the democrats is this word, "change" well what kind of change? Not all change is good, I want change too but I don't want racist affirmative action, I don't want universal health care, I don't want retarded foreign policies, I don't want increased taxes. I want real damn "correct" change. It's about time we take our country back.
Barack Obama follows the Bush doctrine, Hillary follows the wind and penis of her husband... Mccain is certifiably crazy, Romney is flashy but pro-Iraq.. Giuliani is just a freak. Yet these are our front runners.. I think the main reason why people haven't spoken up about this, why people haven't raised in anger at the thought of A CENTRALIZED ELECTRONIC VOTING MACHINE (I.E. All electronic votes go to a centralized station somewhere removed from the polls, so there is absolutely no authenticity check) is that we give politicians the benefit of the doubt. "Oh ya, of course he's not going to do anything crazy, if he did - some thousand other people would rise against him" <--- this is the most deadly and harmful view to take. NEVER give a politician the benefit of the doubt. Time and time again the governments of the people have used public office for so corrupt and atrocious a things as to send us to thousands of men to their death without a cause or means. Have we learned nothing from history? I know what I'm fighting for, it's for our future. We need a non-interventionist policy, we need to back off occupying other countries, we need to gain the alliance of the people. We could have just easily went in and assassinated Saddam Hussein and his family and proclaimed the government of the people without mass occupation and funneling money. Sure it's a big chance to take, sure it could blow up in our face.. but what about war nowadays? Our military is made obsolete that anyone can now destroy the entire surface of the world several times over. We need to be focusing on the people of foreign countries.
Ron Paul.. is who I'm fighting for. He's gotten screwed over by the mass media so much it's sick. Such propaganda I never knew existed, that a man a fellow of the constitution nor longer has legitimacy any more..
I'll let him speak for himself.
You'll never find a politician (A doctor by trade) so disciplined and mature and accountable as Ron Paul. Never has he voted against himself, his opinions are know, they're aligned with the constitution. He's a conservative who wants to change America back to its original promise of personal responsibility and non government intervention within our lives. He's pragmatic, and everything I've ever wanted in a cadidate.
It seems the world has changed since then, color has come to us. Things don't seem as black and white anymore. With time we've seen ourselves grow and prosper into an affluence never before experienced by mankind, but with out growth has come new challenges and the history of America in the recent period is not free from being marred. Our foreign policy has went from bad to atrocious, it lacks even mere common sense any more. It has unified the enemies - so longstanding - against us, and with reason this time. The woes, so longstanding seem to be culminating now into a fiery ball. America's days are numbered if we continue down this reckless path. The color is degenerating into primitive black, and primitive white.
The Iraq war, started on misinformation and never reconciled after learning about this misinformation, leads one to the conclusion that it was always well known that Saddam didn't possess any nuclear weapons before we went to war. Bush lied to the congress, and when the answers came he failed to take the blame - shifting it to the C.I.A. We've overthrown an atrocious dictator ~ but at the cost of billions of dollars.. and the loss of respect from the international community.. Meanwhile out interventionist policy has only emboldened terrorists who now reside in Pakistan, where we gave the dictator who over threw and elected government - 11 billion dollars, for what? We sent Bhutto in to withdraw on our mistake.. and she ends up getting killed. We installed the shah in Iran, and no kidding when our hostages got taken Jimmy Carter authorized Iraq to go to war with Iran.. no wonder Iran is pissed at us. We need to change our foreign policies. We are fighting with extreme retardedness.
The liberals, from within have been ruining our country economically, the "conservatives" have been ruining our country internationally. It's a pick your posion type of deal. All I hear from the democrats is this word, "change" well what kind of change? Not all change is good, I want change too but I don't want racist affirmative action, I don't want universal health care, I don't want retarded foreign policies, I don't want increased taxes. I want real damn "correct" change. It's about time we take our country back.
Barack Obama follows the Bush doctrine, Hillary follows the wind and penis of her husband... Mccain is certifiably crazy, Romney is flashy but pro-Iraq.. Giuliani is just a freak. Yet these are our front runners.. I think the main reason why people haven't spoken up about this, why people haven't raised in anger at the thought of A CENTRALIZED ELECTRONIC VOTING MACHINE (I.E. All electronic votes go to a centralized station somewhere removed from the polls, so there is absolutely no authenticity check) is that we give politicians the benefit of the doubt. "Oh ya, of course he's not going to do anything crazy, if he did - some thousand other people would rise against him" <--- this is the most deadly and harmful view to take. NEVER give a politician the benefit of the doubt. Time and time again the governments of the people have used public office for so corrupt and atrocious a things as to send us to thousands of men to their death without a cause or means. Have we learned nothing from history? I know what I'm fighting for, it's for our future. We need a non-interventionist policy, we need to back off occupying other countries, we need to gain the alliance of the people. We could have just easily went in and assassinated Saddam Hussein and his family and proclaimed the government of the people without mass occupation and funneling money. Sure it's a big chance to take, sure it could blow up in our face.. but what about war nowadays? Our military is made obsolete that anyone can now destroy the entire surface of the world several times over. We need to be focusing on the people of foreign countries.
Ron Paul.. is who I'm fighting for. He's gotten screwed over by the mass media so much it's sick. Such propaganda I never knew existed, that a man a fellow of the constitution nor longer has legitimacy any more..
I'll let him speak for himself.
You'll never find a politician (A doctor by trade) so disciplined and mature and accountable as Ron Paul. Never has he voted against himself, his opinions are know, they're aligned with the constitution. He's a conservative who wants to change America back to its original promise of personal responsibility and non government intervention within our lives. He's pragmatic, and everything I've ever wanted in a cadidate.
Thursday, January 10, 2008
Hmm
If you read all of that last post dibs. Initially I didn't intend on making it so long I swear!
One thing, sort of irrelevant. Haha, I was reading Alyssa's blog where she complains of this emotional hell or well as she describes it.. you know, being in America and having access to such surplus, it really makes it hard for our elaborate woeful poetry to have any meaning to it. Haha.. it just makes us sound like spoiled rotten brats. I think I'd much rather be rejected socially than scraping potato scraps for my dying sister.
To what end can we not even complain anymore! Such a sad fate....
One thing, sort of irrelevant. Haha, I was reading Alyssa's blog where she complains of this emotional hell or well as she describes it.. you know, being in America and having access to such surplus, it really makes it hard for our elaborate woeful poetry to have any meaning to it. Haha.. it just makes us sound like spoiled rotten brats. I think I'd much rather be rejected socially than scraping potato scraps for my dying sister.
To what end can we not even complain anymore! Such a sad fate....
In the wind will float my answer.
For what are men but vessels of words, no longer shall I confide to myself any other treatment. The forces are growing, where evil men lay in secret. Drawing from them rank and number, the plans are on the table. To what do we know is not of the question, but now to what we don't. We've listened to those about the sully areas, like the self conscious boy who does not wish to irritate and offend, we've been castrated from our place on top of the noble tower and our eagle-eyes blinded. Those we listen to are those who are afraid of us, their fear has mustered into jealousy and resistance and from them the complications arose. It's no longer worth it to determine who initially started it nor is it worthy of time anymore to contest our ego's. They have affirmed their stance through our own tools nonetheless, haha. Words no longer matter now, it is in that that can not be said that does. The forces of freedom must act, and act quickly. Too many needlessly starve and die whilst we thrive and prosper. We can't possess any self respect whilst we allow this to continue that in our power so dormant now as to have forgotten the light of day rests. We need not war nor occupation, but the alliance of the people. This is accomplished through the overthrow of the enslaver. Kim Jung-Ill can no longer be tolerated, nor his military generals. Neither can Musharraf, both an example of America's mistake in succumbing to the liberals. We're too afraid to finish Kim Jung back then, we were too afraid to finish Musharraf. We've come to support them - subsidize them - in the hopes of winning their allegiance to our cause. So to does the judge give the criminal money to stop raping his victim? Such a cowardly cause, and the international community scoffs at us even then, making us out to be the supporters of the dictators when if we tried to overthrow them like we did with Castro, the international community would be in an uproar! FIE TO THEM! Words are dependent on air to be transmitted, have they now a monopoly on the air? They have paralyzed our lungs, we no longer have access to the wind to carry our voices. Our words are what they are, they need no wind, they're formulated in our minds so right and so pure as to be self-evident, that we feel it an exercise in waste to even feel the need to speak them. Yet, it is not so, they need to be spoken - they need to be realized - the international community is nothing but an alliance of apathetic cynics! Darfur continues death, Kim Jung continues exploitation, China continues to not teach Tienanmen, and the obligatory overthrows of evils is binded with status quo shouts from a top the dungeons of the U.N. They have their intellectualized excuses so as to bind America and freedom from the rest of the world, and in half truths it carries some weight... but to what end my fellow ~ let us not even care about the inherent motivations but instead ask the question to what end should we allow such gross death and horrid living styles? The forces of evil exist because good men do nothing, and they will stand to grow. The misdirected policies used to contest these forces are not the tools of our fathers and are instead the mutated ugly hammer and sickle of them. We ought to be ashamed of ourselves in every respect. Now the courses have been set in motion, for the outside world is not static. We can only hope that Pakistan does not erupt into civil war, or that N.Korea decides to sell nukes to terrorists. We can only hope that our own government doesn't turn into them, that our electronic voting machines be rigged and new candidates turn out in the form of dictators. We can only hope with our words and definitions, but the wind is where our fate now lies due to our negligence.
---------
R.I.P. Benazir Bhutto --- we are so sorry. We who know what we did, and we who knows what you could have.
It seems so irrelevant now, but here are my (updated) grades
Texas Politics - A
Chemistry - A
Macroeconomics - A (had a real conservative professor too)
Latin - A
Writing - A
Straight A's... the only time in my life I've gotten that haha. I've applied for a lot of merit scholarships now, I hope to get a few.. I think I'm guaranteed at least 500 dollars now in grants due to 4.0 gpa. It increases with each semester. If I get them all I should have my next semester paid for completely and my fall semester as well.. I'll update on that later.
Next semester classes
Chemistry II
Chemistry lab - 5 Freakin hour class!
Latin II
Writing II
Calculus I
Should be fun. Hopefully I can get straight A's again... next fall I'll be taking the straight science slate I described earlier. I actually can't wait to get back to San Antonio, to get back to doing things and acquainted with my new room mate. I miss my daily routine of going to the gym and showing up all the homosexual body builder stereoid abusers there haha. I've actually made friends with a homosexual guy, and news reports that hell is not frozen and still boiling over. I told him about that and that he should probably confess his sins of being gay.. haha no, I'm not like that. I don't mind homosexuals so long as they don't act effeminate. Ew. I hate effeminate guys.
---And now for something completely different.---
Oh man, my first college party happened on new years day. In terms of awkwardness I can hardly describe, a general feeling of nauseating anxiety perforated through my stomach the whole day before. I would come to find out what I expected was grossly grossly wrong. So wrong in fact, that I went home the next morning seriously questioning every one of my stances on everything. I've never been so wrong in my life.
Where I went wrong was trusting Steven, a fellow who -- despite having a flamboyantly cool personality, has to fabricate stories and realities about himself so as to further depict himself as some sort of socialite god I guess. I don't know why he does it, it's not like he needs to compensate for anything, I expect he has a great social life.. well anyways, he was saying how there was going to be thirty or so girls there that he knew, that it was going to be at his cousins house that has a pool in it.. and that it'd be a lot of fun. When we got there haha, every story that he built up came crashing down. For one thing, his cousin turned out to be this really strung out crack addict - whose boyfriend had half his face paralyzed - probably from some sort of Rochambeau incident involving a baseball bat - I care not to speculate further. "aAAYAYA... yo dawg geez we'z gotz stuff,, pot is in that room - hhaa my nugga (referring to Robert, I'll get to that later) we'z calls that snoop dwahg dsg room dyawa ffdshdfa *inssert incoherent rambling* I was like.. "err wtf?" Oh ya, the house? No it was an apartment lol. A crappy small one at that. Steven didn't know his cousin's boyfriend, and other people started coming in ~ I realized at once that this wasn't Steven's party like he suggested ~ he just asked his crack addict cousin to invite whoever.. probably because he doesn't know people to invite himself.. the other guys started coming in ~ one with a baseball bat, "Yo, dawgs We'z jus got in fight anagdf g liiiikke yesterday'z in shitz with Tony, we'z been goin at it like ferr an hour an shi'iii back N' forth back N' forth.. they'z been selling pussy at that party, whole tank smelled like pussy" ~ At hearing that statement I realized intellectual discourse about the plight of women in the oppressive America's view of sexualization was out of the question. I was like "WTF" in my head, I wasn't afraid, I could have taken any one of them ~ and if they guy hit me with the bat I think that would have just made me madder..any ways you can surmise where that party went.. A lot more people did show up, but none were of any interest to me. It was all accepting and I did talk to a lot of people, up to the point where my friends got drunk and started going psycho. Jeff turned out to be an "aggressive" drunk
you have
-Wallowing drunks - those who tell you about how crappy their life is and how doom and gloom
-Sexual drunks - those who lose ALL inhibitions and I do mean ALL
-Aggressive drunks - those who equate punching someone in the face as colloquial rap artist greeting
-Intellectual drunks - those who discover the inner meaning of possessing the higher order brain instead of just the primitive one.
such and such
anyways, I want to get to Robert - he's an African American friend of mine who is perhaps the coolest person I'll ever know in my life. He's so above the rules and pressures of society, I love how he's oblivious to peer pressure. He only went to the party to make sure Sean didn't do anything stupid. He and I made a pact that we wouldn't drink despite everyone else drinking. He's so popular, very funny and talented in constructing arguments, yet doesn't feel obligated to follow other people and do the things they do. He sees parties as equally retarded as I do and for the same reasons as well. I love talking to him about intellectual things, and he's a very moral person. He's looked out for Sean when Sean needed him, and I'm not referring to just this party, a lot of shit has been going on in Sean's life and I've been away at San Antonio that Robert was there to look after him. I like how Robert thinks, he thinks a lot like me - haha I wonder if he has the same.. illness as me. The state of being an intellectual a true one ~ with the self awareness of oneself and ones environment unfortunately entails an excruciating level of pain. So sad if he goes through that too.
Lastly, I want to talk about Yalan, she'll never read this blog but I will, and I never want to forget her. You know how when you're a friend with someone for a while and you connect? Then for perhaps loss of interest or whatever you cease to see each other? Usually the person enters into this bitter form, where they condemn that friend as being unworthy in some form or another so as to preserve their own ego.. I've never done this, I've thought about her with such longing, that in what wind I've wondered has surrounded her, to what force does it blow her hair? To what environment does she walk, that she notices the things so bare? Bare of value perhaps the twigs she walks over, the trees desolate in color to be doomed to mere brown. I know she exists in the same plane I do, and I wonder if she ever thinks about the wind as I. I wonder not only about her, but the things around her, I wonder the rooms she'll be in in college, how high the ceiling. I'll wonder if she'll look at the ceiling and wonder about it as well. All the places she'll inhabit all the things so easy to exclude from thought, but that whose importance is everything we are not. If you've noticed you can not rationalize the subjective meanings I've put in these lines and this is to emphasize a point. There are those things that we can't put into words yet. It is not the question of what we know, but what we do not.
I guess, I'm doomed to never know... about her.
---------
R.I.P. Benazir Bhutto --- we are so sorry. We who know what we did, and we who knows what you could have.
It seems so irrelevant now, but here are my (updated) grades
Texas Politics - A
Chemistry - A
Macroeconomics - A (had a real conservative professor too)
Latin - A
Writing - A
Straight A's... the only time in my life I've gotten that haha. I've applied for a lot of merit scholarships now, I hope to get a few.. I think I'm guaranteed at least 500 dollars now in grants due to 4.0 gpa. It increases with each semester. If I get them all I should have my next semester paid for completely and my fall semester as well.. I'll update on that later.
Next semester classes
Chemistry II
Chemistry lab - 5 Freakin hour class!
Latin II
Writing II
Calculus I
Should be fun. Hopefully I can get straight A's again... next fall I'll be taking the straight science slate I described earlier. I actually can't wait to get back to San Antonio, to get back to doing things and acquainted with my new room mate. I miss my daily routine of going to the gym and showing up all the homosexual body builder stereoid abusers there haha. I've actually made friends with a homosexual guy, and news reports that hell is not frozen and still boiling over. I told him about that and that he should probably confess his sins of being gay.. haha no, I'm not like that. I don't mind homosexuals so long as they don't act effeminate. Ew. I hate effeminate guys.
---And now for something completely different.---
Oh man, my first college party happened on new years day. In terms of awkwardness I can hardly describe, a general feeling of nauseating anxiety perforated through my stomach the whole day before. I would come to find out what I expected was grossly grossly wrong. So wrong in fact, that I went home the next morning seriously questioning every one of my stances on everything. I've never been so wrong in my life.
Where I went wrong was trusting Steven, a fellow who -- despite having a flamboyantly cool personality, has to fabricate stories and realities about himself so as to further depict himself as some sort of socialite god I guess. I don't know why he does it, it's not like he needs to compensate for anything, I expect he has a great social life.. well anyways, he was saying how there was going to be thirty or so girls there that he knew, that it was going to be at his cousins house that has a pool in it.. and that it'd be a lot of fun. When we got there haha, every story that he built up came crashing down. For one thing, his cousin turned out to be this really strung out crack addict - whose boyfriend had half his face paralyzed - probably from some sort of Rochambeau incident involving a baseball bat - I care not to speculate further. "aAAYAYA... yo dawg geez we'z gotz stuff,, pot is in that room - hhaa my nugga (referring to Robert, I'll get to that later) we'z calls that snoop dwahg dsg room dyawa ffdshdfa *inssert incoherent rambling* I was like.. "err wtf?" Oh ya, the house? No it was an apartment lol. A crappy small one at that. Steven didn't know his cousin's boyfriend, and other people started coming in ~ I realized at once that this wasn't Steven's party like he suggested ~ he just asked his crack addict cousin to invite whoever.. probably because he doesn't know people to invite himself.. the other guys started coming in ~ one with a baseball bat, "Yo, dawgs We'z jus got in fight anagdf g liiiikke yesterday'z in shitz with Tony, we'z been goin at it like ferr an hour an shi'iii back N' forth back N' forth.. they'z been selling pussy at that party, whole tank smelled like pussy" ~ At hearing that statement I realized intellectual discourse about the plight of women in the oppressive America's view of sexualization was out of the question. I was like "WTF" in my head, I wasn't afraid, I could have taken any one of them ~ and if they guy hit me with the bat I think that would have just made me madder..any ways you can surmise where that party went.. A lot more people did show up, but none were of any interest to me. It was all accepting and I did talk to a lot of people, up to the point where my friends got drunk and started going psycho. Jeff turned out to be an "aggressive" drunk
you have
-Wallowing drunks - those who tell you about how crappy their life is and how doom and gloom
-Sexual drunks - those who lose ALL inhibitions and I do mean ALL
-Aggressive drunks - those who equate punching someone in the face as colloquial rap artist greeting
-Intellectual drunks - those who discover the inner meaning of possessing the higher order brain instead of just the primitive one.
such and such
anyways, I want to get to Robert - he's an African American friend of mine who is perhaps the coolest person I'll ever know in my life. He's so above the rules and pressures of society, I love how he's oblivious to peer pressure. He only went to the party to make sure Sean didn't do anything stupid. He and I made a pact that we wouldn't drink despite everyone else drinking. He's so popular, very funny and talented in constructing arguments, yet doesn't feel obligated to follow other people and do the things they do. He sees parties as equally retarded as I do and for the same reasons as well. I love talking to him about intellectual things, and he's a very moral person. He's looked out for Sean when Sean needed him, and I'm not referring to just this party, a lot of shit has been going on in Sean's life and I've been away at San Antonio that Robert was there to look after him. I like how Robert thinks, he thinks a lot like me - haha I wonder if he has the same.. illness as me. The state of being an intellectual a true one ~ with the self awareness of oneself and ones environment unfortunately entails an excruciating level of pain. So sad if he goes through that too.
Lastly, I want to talk about Yalan, she'll never read this blog but I will, and I never want to forget her. You know how when you're a friend with someone for a while and you connect? Then for perhaps loss of interest or whatever you cease to see each other? Usually the person enters into this bitter form, where they condemn that friend as being unworthy in some form or another so as to preserve their own ego.. I've never done this, I've thought about her with such longing, that in what wind I've wondered has surrounded her, to what force does it blow her hair? To what environment does she walk, that she notices the things so bare? Bare of value perhaps the twigs she walks over, the trees desolate in color to be doomed to mere brown. I know she exists in the same plane I do, and I wonder if she ever thinks about the wind as I. I wonder not only about her, but the things around her, I wonder the rooms she'll be in in college, how high the ceiling. I'll wonder if she'll look at the ceiling and wonder about it as well. All the places she'll inhabit all the things so easy to exclude from thought, but that whose importance is everything we are not. If you've noticed you can not rationalize the subjective meanings I've put in these lines and this is to emphasize a point. There are those things that we can't put into words yet. It is not the question of what we know, but what we do not.
I guess, I'm doomed to never know... about her.
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