Happiness to me was never about attaining wealth or fortunate circumstances, it was never about being well liked and popular nor was it ever about having the best friends or doing the cool things. No, happiness to me is the state of being content - it's the state where I can wake up in the morning and anticipate everything that I will be exposed to during the day and not feeling out of control or a sense of impending doom or failure. It's the state of just being free, free to think about anything I want and be comfortable in any situation - that is what happiness is to me.
Unfortunately I haven't been able to attain this state, my mind is constantly embattled, I feel like I'm in a fox hole all the time with the mortar shells going off in the background - each second each minute of every day is a threatening state of existence where that shell can go off on me. It didn't always used to be like this, I used to be able to instill control within any environment I resided in - I was able to achieve the higher ground of thoughts, and see through things that others could not.
Maybe herein lies my problem, I've allowed my focus to amplify my present situations so much, that I've been blinded to the bigger picture of things. There is something to be said that in the short term everything is chaotic, but over the long term the much desired peace order and tranquility can be clearly seen.
Ya I have a major physics test coming up next week. Ya I can't figure out how the hell to do any of the problems, but you know what? In the grand scheme of things my life 10 or 20 years from now will be little if at all influenced by this fact. I have a mind that's capable of great things, and whether or not I allow myself the peaceful mindset to exploit these gifts is completely up to my conscious center, which lately has been plotting against me.
Sometimes I just wish I could pull someone aside and just see the world through their eyes, it's so amazing how when presented with the same set of circumstances, two people respond so differently and so ...scientifically.
4 comments:
Yah, you need to loosen up a bit dude. Relax. Take a day off and do nothing but relax. It's like all you've been doing is bury yourself in studying and exams.
Education is definitely important and significant and it will affect your future whether you get a good education or not. But on the grand schemes of things, it shouldn't be everything and life shouldn't just be about one thing but rather the multiple of things of which values give life meaning.
So breathe in breathe out and chill out! Happiness should always be within your reach, you just gotta take out your hand and hold on to it.
^Same applies to you and people, Eric. If you look them in the eye, you'll find the the flame in yours will falter long after theirs. ^^
Have you tried tai chi yet? Or at least qi gong?
and JEEBUS it's a juggle trying to keep up with a million blogs lol
Take it easy, Eric.
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