What if everything were possible?

I'm going to start writing here on a more habitual basis like I've said, I don't really know why... I'm at that point where I don't want to admit that I can't remember my life to a desirable level, but yet I do seem to enjoy looking back at things just to see what I was thinking at the time. It's actually a wonder how my thought processes have changed over my life despite my strong resistive cognitive force that I thought would always keep me in line, thinking back I've really jumped philosophy to philosophy and I hope to be able to continue that trend lest I stagnate in this sort of psychosomatic hell that I'm in.

Hells are fun though, they've taught me my capability and that I don't need to hurt or harm others or present adversity to others to validate myself but rather I've achieved this through the sheer hell I live in day in and day out. I thrive in it actually, I think I've become so accustomed to it, that if it were to leave I'd feel odd and vulnerable. I enjoy the weight like I've said though, for without it, I would never have challenged myself to adapt, and I would have ended up like my peers enjoying life and leisure and never actively seeking advancement.

Anyways, I'm done with complaining, it's just so disgusting really, why should I shift my problems on others involuntarily, it's selfish of me and makes for horrible conversation anyway. I need to grow my inner strength and bottle it all up until atom bomb capacity.

It's inexcusable that I haven't been writing blogs about my college experience this semester, but to tell you the truth I've been so busy studying and what not that I haven't really had time to even think about my circumstances. Haha I like how I type in the "second" person tense, no one else other than me will be reading this so I guess it's alright if I write without inhibition.


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Beginning the year was really hard, I had gotten accepted to U.T. on a deferred program where I have to spend a year at U.T. San Antonio for a year before I get into the main campus of Austin. This is because U.T. Austin is one of the most prestigious colleges not only in the nation, but in the entire world, with several professors of science holding nobel peace awards in many facets of science - the most famous one being Steven Weinburg (well not 'famous' but intriguing to me.) who got his in the field of physics in the 1970's for proposing the idea of unification of forces which led to unified state theory ~ though I agree with it I think it's an oversimplification and doesn't serve the end to which it was originally designed to answer -- but that gets into technicalities far beyond the scope of which this blog should be exposed to. I don't like publishing my thoughts anyways, because I've found people have stolen them and proclaim them as their own.... so I've stopped utterly. Not that it really matters, I don't think anyone will be able to follow the trail of logic that leads me from answer to answer but the theory i'm working on would significantly disappoint me if someone publishes it before me.

Weinburg still teaches but understandably at a limited level, being that he's like a million years old. That's what's so disappointing, there doesn't seem to be the substance of minds around nowadays like there were several decades ago. I would have died to get into a class of theoretical physics with Dr. Oppenheimer, I would have been in that posse of students he had that followed him everywhere.. ha..

Anyways, I'll be going to U.T. Austin this fall and will be enrolling in biochemistry medical science physics chemistry classes.... Straight science. no electives, no math nothing else... I don't know what I want to do yet, medicine is very intriguing to me and I go to the library to read medical journals for hours on end --- since, you know, I have no social life, but so what? People talk to each other for but one reason, advancement... some will say it's for fun, and that's very true, hanging out with people does bring feelings of excitement, fun, etc. etc. but the reason it yields that, is because evolution has always dictated that a creature needs to adapt to its environment in order to reproduce, so when we are accepted into a group or something, it tells our brain that we are acceptable and that we are capable of reproducing and our brain likewise rewards that. Most people will just tell you they hang out with other people for fun... without really asking why they experience the fun... So long as I meet the one I love, and utterly pamper her and die my soul to her, than I will have all that socially I could ever want... I care not for trivial interaction anymore, I care not for petty words exchanged with childish interactions, I want a deep connection I want someone who has transcended the typical ladder and has the strength and force to mend me and I her.. that's the relationship I want, one of wonder and excitement..

I digress so much, haha... but room mates hmm.

Jorge-
Jorge is a really religious person, who believes he's apart of a spiritual world and that everything around him is controlled by an ultimate destiny. He's catholic and has strong christian beliefs. His beliefs thus aren't very original and I can basically anticipate how he's going to feel to any external circumstance... he's really funny and has a great personality, very easy going and nice, possesses a strong moral honor to him but hasn't vested a lot of thought into it.. He'll be courteous but he possesses an ego to him that won't allow him to love passionately another woman, thus he's never had a girlfriend because he's afraid to expose that side to himself. Definitely someone I enjoy hanging out with, he's always got something witty to say...

err I have to end this post a little early..

Grades thusfar:
Economics - A
Chemistry - A
Texas Politics - A
Writing - ??? (hasn't posted yet)
Latin - ??? (hasn't posted yet)

Gah! I hate waiting for grades to be posted!